When I’m freshly shaven, people want to feel it. I lost most of my hair when I was 19. I don’t remember what it was like to have it. Last weekend I found myself at Santa Pub crawl in Park City. When one man asked if he could rub my bald head, I obliged him. Then his wife wanted a piece. Then her friend was in on the action. I realized right then and there, after asking them, that these individuals had never rubbed a bald man’s head. I got to be their first. I immediately wanted more people having their first rub of glorious baldness be me.
I tell my wife not to be worried. My balding head is turning into a solar panel for a sex machine. Lol