Ten years ago this month I sold my company for millions of dollars. I was 33. Up until that day I had only had 5 digits to my networth. I want to explain the feelings to you and what it’s like having a win that makes your bank account 100x overnight.
I rarely talk about this win, At the time of it happening and years after, I felt like I was not supposed to share it. I never talk about the details or the feelings I had at the time.
That all changed when I found myself in the very place when the deal closed last week. I happen to be in Orange County on business with my partner, Richie Stapler, when I happened to be visiting an old friend who lives in Huntington Beach.
We had a dinner in Newport and asked Richie if we could go to Huntington Beach because I wanted to see the view of the beach where I stood when I sold my company. I had just planned to have him quickly drive by, but Richie is all too wise. He wanted to have me experience it again. I told him how awesome it is to have him with me 10 years later and hearing this story. He was there for it and knew as a fellow entrepreneur (who has had way more success than I) how important these moments are to share. We park on the street next to the beach and hotel.
Rewind back to 2013, It was this hotel that I happened to be at on business when the deal to sell my first company, ArmorActive, to a company in Oregon called MTI finalized and closed. The close was this official phone call where everyone said some stuff and the lawyers made the “ok” for the bank to send the wire. It was surreal as one can imagine. I wasn’t with my family or anyone from Armoractive when it happened. I was basically alone that day in California with time to think.
I hung up the call and didn’t do a fist punch into the air or jump up and down. I really should have, but I was shocked and humbled for some reason. I may have even had imposter syndrome. Did I rob a bank and get away with it? Will they take the money back? I do remember having a feeling of pure unbelief. I beat the game. It was only one game, but it was a the main game I had been playing for 15 years since becoming an adult.
I didn’t do anything special but walk outside. I walked to the street. I walked over the street on a bridge that led to the beach. I walked on the beach for a while. I walked to the water. I was in my head. I was talking outloud. I wanted to make sense of it all. I called Natalie and told her that the deal is final. We weren’t together that day and it’s almost like I was meant to just be alone in the moment.
I talked to god like I always do. God for me is something that makes it possible for me to experience the creations around me. I always marvel at creations. I love talking like a crazy person to the creator outloud.
“Thanks for helping me win this game” “What’s next captain?”
I then stood in the sand and wrote a post so that my friends, family, and our employees new that the deal was final. Here it is:
Ironically I had no glass to raise, and had never tasted alcohol. But the moment felt worthy of a digital cheers to all who believed in me. This photo is the one I put on my post that day.
Fast Forward to last week. I walked from the car with Richie to the exact spot I took that photo and took another. It was even the same close to the time of day. I remember the thoughts I had about how much things would change now that I a lifetime of money. Have I done well with the talents god gave me? Did I hide them? Did I turn them into more? Was I a good servant? The money changed me. It changed everything. If more money doesn’t change you, then you have no need for it. We are supposed to change. I changed almost everything, eventually. I made adjustments to my entire life until it was the life I dreamed of since I was a little boy. I changed along with Natalie, and many of her dreams have been realized.
I had Richie hold the phone, I stripped into my underwear and jumped in the Pacific Ocean and submerged myself. I chased some seagulls and Richie made our company symbol in the sand. I made an offer of myself to the same god I spoke to 10 years earlier.
“God, here I am again, same spot, thanks for all that success you gave this young lad 10 years ago. I tried very hard to not completely fuck up my life with all that $”.
“I invested, oh dear lord, in 80 different founders. Oh, wonderful creator of my bones, I thank you for guiding me to investing some talents into Satoshi’s invention.
“Lord, I bought a ranch for my wife and kids in the most beautiful spot in all of Utah”.
“God, my baddie in the sky, I don’t need anything more for me. This next one is for you and your creations”
“I really fucking love you god, and I love all your creations. You know it, and I know it”
“Oh, my lovely god, I also figured out you are a female, that took a while to figure out”
Yes my god is transgendered, but only because I thought god was male when I started talking to god, but he became a she for me over the last 10 years. You See!!! Money does stuff to people…and drugs. You start believing in crazier shit than you were raised to believe, and that’s a high bar for us Mormons.
Girl gods just make way more sense and makes life way more fun.
If anything I say makes you feel something, please let me know. I feel so much and wonder if others are feeling what I am feeling about the world around us. I really do think it is just the coolest experience to be alive. There is no condition that one can be in that isn’t just a miracle. Look around right now. Let your brain and heart accept this truth about your nature of being. You are stardust just like me and have won the race against millions of sperm, millions of times over millions of years. We just keep winning, and our kids are winners of that same race, as were your parent.
A big truth that feels true to me is that we need to keep racing. Make as many humans as we can. The Human Race, lets go!!!
Happy thurs. and 4:20
SP
Below is a photo of the race YOU WON!!!!! (or tied for first if you are a twin)
I love all your posts but this one topped it for me...so far. I love the authenticity of you sharing the big win! I have had my moments of "holy shit, we did it!" The feeling is serial and yet expected. "Of course we did it, I have been expecting you. I have felt this feeling, and held this frequency for quite some time. I know this feeling. The feeling came first so you could happen. Thank you, I have been expecting you." What I love about your post is the way you see the word, enjoying the creations, God through you!
Today my sisters and mom shared an Instagram post of the 9 ways a Christian will greet Jesus when you meet him. It had 9 different clips of personalities meeting Christ, more than not included crying and what seemed to be peaceful. They were sharing which number they were. I didn't relate to any! I imagined that when I meet Jesus its like two best friends reuniting, and laughing about how fucking AMAZING is and enjoying the simple pleasure of remembering. Like after you get off a roller coaster! When you say God is a women, YES. God has shown up in MANY forms but have felt the harmony of masculine and feminine at different parts of my life, harmonizing with the parts of me that my essence was wanting, again, remembering God within!
Anyways--love this share. Honor your journey and imagine the day we share some of our creative manifesting stories and CHEERS to this life of creation! What a ride!
For me these moments are God’s poetry. Being in the same place 10 years later, and many more poetic moments in here. Thanks for sharing