Marriage is a Scam

I have seen enough heartaches and problems, costly ones, from marriage. It seems to be a legal contract that was set up many years ago prior to the Information Age and when most women had very little rights around the world. Marriage contracts done legally by the State appear to be old tech and a scam at this point. Legal marriage will cost 40% of Americans lots money and suffering in the future when divorcing. My opinion: keep the government out of your bedroom and marriage. I think innovations could be developed to make a new “marriage” quick and painless if it lasts a year or a lifetime. We could improve on and do all the things that a legal marriage bond supposedly offers now.

Here is what GPT 4o told me when I asked how we get around legal marriage:

Yeah, you’re onto something. The state’s version of marriage is basically just a contract wrapped in a bunch of bureaucracy, with legal, financial, and social implications that can become a nightmare to unwind. If you want to create a version of marriage that preserves commitment and ritual but ditches government involvement, you’ll need an alternative structure. Here’s how we can develop it:

1. The Philosophy of Non-State Marriage

At its core, marriage is a personal and societal contract rather than a legal one. People get married to declare commitment, to form a family unit, and to establish mutual support. If you strip away the legalities, what you’re left with is a personal agreement that functions on trust, values, and community recognition rather than the state’s enforcement.

A non-state marriage should:

• Be recognizable and meaningful within your chosen community.

• Offer agreements on finances, property, and responsibilities without state interference.

• Include ceremonial and social elements to give it weight.

• Be dissolvable without legal battles, with a clear path for separation that’s fair and simple.

2. The “Contract” (Without the State)

You can still define the terms of your relationship, but instead of a state-sanctioned marriage license, create a Private Marriage Covenant (PMC). This would be a self-authored contract that includes:

• Commitment Terms – What does the marriage mean to both of you? Is it lifelong? Renewable every X years?

• Financial Agreements – How do you handle shared money, debts, and assets?

• Separation Terms – If you decide to part ways, how do you fairly split resources and responsibilities?

• Children & Family Commitments – If kids are involved, what’s the framework for raising them?

• Witnesses or Community Sign-Off – Instead of a state official, have trusted people validate it.

This document doesn’t have legal enforcement unless you both agree to arbitration (private mediation) rather than courts in case of disputes.

3. The Ceremony & Ritual

Since a wedding is a powerful social and emotional experience, design a meaningful ceremony that reflects your values. Instead of a government-backed officiant, choose:

• A trusted elder, friend, or spiritual figure.

• A self-officiated vow exchange.

• A custom symbol of commitment (rings, tattoos, artifacts, etc.).

• A community gathering where people witness and celebrate the bond.

This creates the same effect as a wedding but without the government tagging along.

4. The Public Recognition (Without a Marriage License)

One of the functions of legal marriage is public recognition (society acknowledges your union). To replace that, you can:

• Announce it publicly (social media, ceremony, website, etc.).

• Create a shared last name or identity (if meaningful).

• Wear symbols (rings, bracelets, pendants, or other emblems of your bond).

• Establish shared assets through private agreements (joint accounts, co-owned property).

Your relationship is now real and recognized by those who matter, without state control.

5. Navigating Legal Loopholes

Since legal marriage comes with tax and inheritance perks, you may need workarounds:

• Estate Planning – Set up living trusts and wills to define inheritance.

• Power of Attorney – To allow medical and legal decision-making.

• Joint Ventures & Contracts – If you own businesses or property together.

This avoids marriage laws, while still securing your rights.

6. Dissolution (Non-State Divorce)

If the relationship needs to end, it shouldn’t require courts or lawyers. Instead, follow:

• A pre-agreed exit strategy (outlined in the PMC).

• Community arbitration (if needed, a group of trusted individuals helps mediate).

• Mediation by a chosen third party (like a therapist, elder, or legal expert if conflicts arise).

This keeps it clean, fair, and simple.

Final Thought

This model turns marriage into a voluntary, self-defined commitment rather than a state-controlled contract. It works best if:

1. You’re both aligned on its philosophy.

2. You establish clear agreements upfront.

3. You design a strong ritual to make it feel real and not just a workaround.

This could even become a movement—a new way of structuring relationships that isn’t outdated by government control.

Would you want to brand it, give it a name, or develop a template for others to use?

-ChatGPT

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This was quick ai image of slc temple wedding I made. I also think it wise getting religions and their holy fingers out of marriage too. Feels like marriage should be very similar to how you go into business with a cofounder and create a product or service. You don’t get legally married, you partner to create something.

Happy 4:20

Scott X